Book Review of “Patyala Down De Throat” By Chandraprakash Mohata

Patyala Down De Throat

By Chandraprakash Mohata

When someone suggested this book to me, I thought it might be a hilarious read. And laugh I did rightly. But at what, you’ll soon know.

The cover shows a wine bottle and glass on the top – then comes the title “PATYALA DOWN DE THROAT (with a deceitful tag line – A sweet melody from pegs to riches) and the bottom half has a coffee cup, a rose, a pen and a writing pad. What is this supposed to even mean??? And guess what. The back page shows a blonde in a margarita glass with an olive! Where is the Patiala peg (if that’s what Chandraprakash Mohata wanted to talk about)???

The dedication made no sense what-so-ever. The “Acknowledgements” was a disaster. Names of people were not capitalized. I wonder how they reacted on reading their names treated with such disrespect. The prologue was utterly confusing. The amount of grammatical errors and the poor, or should I say no editing made me question the authenticity of the publication house itself.

Seems like Chandraprakash Mohata wanted to narrate his life and experiences at a certain institution (EDI) but managed to show it in such poor light that youngsters aspiring to seek admission there, on having read this book, would think it over once again.

He seems to be thinking in a certain language (and I want to guess its Hindi) but he is trying to write in English – and this is how he literally butchers the language, the thought process and the flow.

His writing is atrocious. He uses profanities in full vigor. Nothing makes sense at all.

I’m not the one to give up on any book. If I start reading something I make an honest attempt to finish it – no matter how long it takes. But this book made me break my principle. It took me almost 10 days to read about 90 pages and now I can’t take it anymore. Someone must tell him this is almost a crime that he has committed. This was pure torture. How can you make someone read through such horrendous and ridiculous language? I wonder how people read it (if they did).

There is just no editing that this book has undergone. How did the publication even let it pass?

If you don’t believe me – check out the book. No wait. I don’t wish to be a partner in crime. I’d rather say – Please read it at your own risk.

Let me give you an example:
Vivek: Guys! Eyes on Jasmine. She seemed pretty with a perfect ten. Long hairs sharp nose, Milky White made of cream- vanilla…aaah.

Vishal: Jasmine likes u Dev. Trust my theories of your inside story.

Will Dev meet his success?

Seriously!!! I’ve never been put through such torture in my life. At a point I thought I was about to forget the language myself.

This is a humble request to budding writers – please do not constrain yourself to writing in English if you are honestly not good at it. If you have a better grasp at a vernacular language, go ahead with that. There are umpteen translators in the country who would do justice to your writing. Please spare us the horror (seriously) of reviewing such books.

This book put me to sleep every time I started reading. This was a major effort to even cross 50 pages! Now I really curse myself for going on and wasting precious time. I thought I could give this man a chance and not butcher him. But looking at the words, the sms lingo, the atrocious copy and the depressing flow – I finally have given up on him. God save him and others who’ve read it – or plan to read it.

This man sure has some guts to get his book published. I mean – do you not know your strengths/weaknesses??? And the publication too seemed to have not bothered with the editing part. It really is killing me. I don’t mind asking – did he pay them to get the book printed?

Well – the Britishers ruled our Motherland for umpteen years and screwed it (please forgive my language – it’s not my fault really) – but this man, I feel, is trying to avenge himself by screwing up their Mother-tongue!

All said and done – I wish I hadn’t been so vulnerable to fall for the words of a mischievous brat who recommended this book in the first place.

Such authors demean the entire clan. Young budding, talented writers might not even get a fair chance if people like Chandraprakash Mohata keep getting published, since many people tend to form a generic opinion too soon.

All I would say is – please do not even look at this book. It offers nothing. In fact, it makes your blood boil and your guts churn inside, trying to control your anger.

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